I Totally Just Bought A Robot

Yeah, you heard me. A ROBOT. It is shiny, and it is red. It has sensors and wheels and gears and an insatiable desire to crush humans. Ok, not really. It's a vacuum cleaner. A Roomba Red, to be precise. It's small and scooty and it will keep my floors cleaner than my noodle arms and a swiffer could ever manage.

I am resisting naming it or giving it a gender. I figure that's just asking for trouble. I'm sure that as soon as I name it "Jerry" or something, I'll be found 3 weeks later lying sprawled on the floor as my body is slowly devourd by soft brushes.

But hey - SHINY. ROBOT.