7.20.06 / 1:43pm
Ok, Seriously, Enough with the Boogers Already
I work in a professional environment. The place is rife with khakis, fake plants, and a fuckload of binders. Our hiring standards are very high. It usually takes close to two months to complete the hiring process, and then we fingerprint you.
Some people are not using those fingers wisely. Namely, they are abusing the walls of the bathroom stalls. Observe:
Please note that a roll of toilet paper is literally 6 inches away. I simply do not understand.
Here's something else I don't understand:
Some people are not using those fingers wisely. Namely, they are abusing the walls of the bathroom stalls. Observe:
Please note that a roll of toilet paper is literally 6 inches away. I simply do not understand.
Here's something else I don't understand:
Thank you for that wonderful photo. I will pretend they are merely blemishes in the paintwork. I don't even know what that picture is. It looks very American whatever it it!
In my younger days, I worked at a not that snoody but still borderline snoody law firm. One day, gripped with an insane urge to piss, I ran into the bathroom, had my belt half undone, and pushed open the door to the only available stall.There was shit.On the ground.This is a problem. I'd seen shit on the outside of the building, indeed seen people actively shitting on the walls of outside of the building, but never had I seen such insolence. And here's the thing: no vagrants were making it into the building. Keycards and so forth prevented their incursion. So we're left with a ground dookie and 150 white collar suspects, one of whom, apparently has the most questionable turd aim known to man.The culprit? We'll never known. He may be in your office, lurking, right now. Not lurking so much as squatting three feet away from the latrine, reading the Sports section.
you win. i think that's just about as bad as things could possibly get in a bathroom. MAYBE it would be worse if it was someone's liver, but still. and what the hell is with the sports section in the bathroom? does reading the latest scores stimulate the sphincter in some way? and why do they leave it there?i'll stop before i turn into jerry seinfeld.not that there's anything wrong with that...
Oh... I've done that with a booger before. My sister found it. I accused her boyfriend and she believed me. They started fighting. All kinds of issues rose to the surface. Thank you for that picture. It brings back lovely memories!
rekabek: but are you a SERIAL booger wiper? i think there's a difference. i ask only because those are not the only stall barnacles. they've been increasing. i'm considering checking out bathrooms on other floors to determine if this is a growing societal problem, or the actions of a single crazed nostril digger.that said, i am enjoying the concept of boogers as an emotional catalyst.
Other terrible toilet problems of the workplace: piss on the lid. Just dealt with that one. A little splash back: that I understand. A standing pool of stagnant urine? Come on. We all work here.
Am I a serial booger wiper? I would like to be able to say no, but I can remember flicking boogers and wiping boogers in several other contexts. These are vague memories, suggesting some shame on my part. I am ashamed even as I write this. Sometimes when I find myself suddenly crying for whatever reason, I feel boogers coming loose inside my nostrils. That is when I am most likely to turn into a "crazed nostril digger," as you so aptly put it. Digging out a big one can make me cry even harder. So yes, boogers are an emotional catalyst in more ways than one. I like to think of them as hardened nose tears.Doesn't everyone?
bm: i just encountered a liquid of indeterminate origin ON TOP of the seat cover/toilet paper dispenser. it's about 4 feet off the ground. i do not care to speculate as to how it got there.rekabek: hardened nose tears!! i think you win the internets. just don't clog the tubes.
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