Marshmallow Mysteries

There I was, in the supermarket. Innocent, carefree, and, dare I say, unaware. I may even have been whistling. I picked up bread, cheese, pasta, crackers. I rounded the corner into the cereal aisle. My cart squeaked and wobbled over the linoleum a like weeble being attacked by a bat. Then I saw Johnny Depp. On a cereal box. Dressed as a pirate.



See? There he is. I wasn't very clear on what "pirate-shaped marshmallows" were, though. I opened the box, and I'm still not sure.

Exhibit A:



This appears to be a yellow hexagon with a white center. Now, my pirate knowledge is not nearly as extensive as my ninja know-how, but I am fairly certain that pirates didn't really care for hexagons. I'm pretty sure that they hated them, in fact. It's a well known fact that during Pirate Times the mere sight of a hexagon would drive a pirate into a frothy rage.

That's my theory, anyway. Maybe it was some sort of geometrically correct pirate twinkie. Thoughts?

Exhibit B:



Another puzzler, but perhaps easier to identify than the previous example. This appears to be a purple thing with a white thing in the middle. Maybe it's a bird. Maybe it's a plane. It could also be an X. You know, to mark the spot. Ah! Perhaps. But why would pirates use purple treasure maps? Was it too difficult to make a parchment colored marshmallow? I don't think you're working hard enough, Kellogg.

Exhibit C:



I have no clue as to what this could be. A mushroom? Not very piratey. A parsnip with a purple knitted cap? I'm pretty sure a pirate would laugh at a parsnip. Especially if it was shaped like a "thingy". Other than that, I'm drawing a blank. What "pirate shape" could this be?

Exhibit D:



I'm pretty sure a pirate wouldn't be caught dead in a New Beetle. Not even if it was black and had cannons poking out the windows. Is it a hat?

Exhibit E:



This is perhaps the most confusing of the bunch. I'm totally at a loss here. It's teal and it's yellow. I want to say that it's a parrot, but the shape is all wrong. Maybe it's an attempt at a hook apparatus? For the fancy and fashionable pirate? It looks like a Miami Vice Epilady, and I know that's not right...

Help me out here, people. I don't need to be more confused than I already am.

p.s.: i think that "Marshmallow Designer" would be just about the coolest job EVER.