Hobo Lessons

Dear person who found my site by typing "how to become a hobo" into Google,

What are you thinking? First of all, WHY? Second of all, it's not really that hard. Take one (1) human unable (or unwilling) to deal with normal societal things like:

- Hygiene
- Haircuts
- Beardcuts
- The willpower to realize that leaves are NOT government/alien listening devices
- Etc.

Mix well with alchohol/amphetamines/aquanet/insecticide/all of the above, let simmer in a field/dumpster/alley, allow weeds/chicken bones/spaghetti to accumulate in beard, release back into society with bongos/banjo/didgeridoo with a container of some sort for coin accumulation, and voilà! You've got yourself a hobo.

Should I be charging for this?

P.S.: The girl and I went to a beach I know of a few days ago, close to sunset, after a storm. After slogging through half a mile of mud to get to the beach, we looked back and saw this:

To Meme or not to Meme...

Hey, I've never met a meme I didn't like (except for the one that instructed me to shout "Surrey with a fringe on top!" three times in the middle of a leather bar), and Rekabek tagged me, so what the hell!

The rule is to pick up the nearest book, flip to page 123, skip to the 5th sentence, and type that sentence and the following two:

"Pulse hammering, she thumped the release plate and swung it open manually, then dived through into the public right-of-way with its faded green carpet and turquoise walls. It was dim in the hallway, the main lights dialed down to signify twilight, and apart from a couple of maintenance 'bots, she had the passage to herself. She began to walk, a black haze of frustration and anger wrapped tightly around her like a cloak."

That's from the book Iron Sunrise by Charles Stross. Highly recommended.

Coming up next, a brief tale of the dinner party, the homeless-by-choice Russian-born massage therapist and lifestyle coach, the administrative assistant at the Tantric Temple, and the really excellent pasta salad.

Oh, and I tag Space Nakji, Fluid Pudding, and whoever the hell else wants to do this. Compliance is not compulsory.

A Brief Political Note

I was recently inspired to write my first letter to one of my elected officials. It turns out that Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) voted to grant retroactive immunity to telecom companies that assisted the Bush administration in illegal, warrantless wiretaps and surveillance of American citizens. The legislation is the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA), and it passed the Senate this week with the help of 18 Democrats, including Bayh, Inouye, Johnson, Landrieu, McCaskill, Ben Nelson, Bill Nelson, Stabenow, Feinstein, Kohl, Pryor, Rockefeller, Salazar, Carper, Mikulski, Conrad, Webb and Lincoln.

I don't usually get into politics here, but anything that makes domestic surveillance easier really gets my goat. I'll also be writing to my Congressperson about this. Anyway, here's my letter. Can you tell I'm annoyed?

Dear Senator Feinstein,

I have never written to one of my elected officials in my life. One of your recent votes has so infuriated me that I can no longer remain silent.

Thank you for being one of the 18 Democratic Senators to vote for providing retroactive immunity to the telecom companies who violated both the spirit and letter of the Constitution by spying on American citizens by request of the Bush Administration.

Your vote on the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) has helped to increase the power of President Bush at the expense of the American people. Your decision to side with AT&T and the administration is ethically bankrupt. They broke the law, and they should not be absolved of that crime, nor any future crime.

It saddens me to see you voting time and again with the Bush administration on matters of security. What use is a Democratic "majority" if you and other "democrats" continue to rubber stamp the policies of the current administration? I almost wish the Republicans had retained power. At least that way I'd KNOW my civil liberties were going to be violated, instead of being constantly disappointed by people I trust to know better.

You are the sort of person that term limits were made for. I look forward to voting against you in any future race, although I rather suspect that you'll find a nice cozy spot at The Heritage Foundation.