A Missive From Deepest Siberia
Day 1
Drank something in a bottle I found on the ground behind the local "glass pipe" shop. Everything went fuzzy for a while, and I woke up on a bus next to a bearded man wearing yak skin. At least, that's what he told me it was. He looked a little stabby, so I didn't question it. I wonder where the bus is going?
Day 4
Yellowknife, Alaska. Great.
Day 9
There are some decent dumpsters here. I'm not really sure what to do with the seal parts, though. I'm assuming that's what they are, anyway.
Day 10
Pretty hungry. Those seal parts are looking pretty tasty.
Day 32
Don't eat the green seal parts. Not sure where I am now. Have been chased for the last several weeks by angry gnomes shouting at me to give them back their wooden legs. Found some toothpicks in my vest, but they weren't interested. Currently trying to keep gnomes away and avoid being eaten by bears. Bindlestick is filled with pine cones for some reason. Not really very helpful.
Day 35
Getting pretty hungry. Might try licking my bindlestick kerchief for sustenance.
Day 57
Crap. Siberia. Have discovered that gulag is not a kind of soup.
Drank something in a bottle I found on the ground behind the local "glass pipe" shop. Everything went fuzzy for a while, and I woke up on a bus next to a bearded man wearing yak skin. At least, that's what he told me it was. He looked a little stabby, so I didn't question it. I wonder where the bus is going?
Day 4
Yellowknife, Alaska. Great.
Day 9
There are some decent dumpsters here. I'm not really sure what to do with the seal parts, though. I'm assuming that's what they are, anyway.
Day 10
Pretty hungry. Those seal parts are looking pretty tasty.
Day 32
Don't eat the green seal parts. Not sure where I am now. Have been chased for the last several weeks by angry gnomes shouting at me to give them back their wooden legs. Found some toothpicks in my vest, but they weren't interested. Currently trying to keep gnomes away and avoid being eaten by bears. Bindlestick is filled with pine cones for some reason. Not really very helpful.
Day 35
Getting pretty hungry. Might try licking my bindlestick kerchief for sustenance.
Day 57
Crap. Siberia. Have discovered that gulag is not a kind of soup.
coughed this up at 12:13 AM
2 El Commentos:
OMG.
I haven't even read the post yet, but just had to tell you that I was so shocked to see something new, I literally choked on my own spit.
And survived.
Hobo Apprentice Biscuit Thrower notes that a bindle filled with pine cones keeps you smelling fresh all day.
Or, rather, keeps the air behind your head smelling fresh all day. If you're a real hobo, you smell more of Gruyere. For comparisons sake, see the entry "Vegan, San Francisco Flavored."
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