Holiday Cheer
Yeah, not so much. Normally I love Christmas a little more than is healthy for me. The tree, the decorations, the crispy coolness in the air, the anticipation of excellent swag, and spending some quality time with the significant other.
I just can't do it this year. I haven't done any shopping, nor do I think I'm going to. I'll get my mom a birthday present (she was born on Christmas Eve), and get flowers for my Grandma and Emily, but that'll be the extent of it.
Of course, it didn't help that I received a letter from myself yesterday. There's this site called Futureme.org, and a year ago yesterday I wrote myself a letter. It was just a few days before she was going to come into town for our Christmas, and I was feeling really, really good, and I was very happy. And of course, I received it first thing in the morning yesterday, which did not do wonders for the rest of my day, to put it lightly. Anyway.
I just need to get through the season intact. That's kinda all I want this year.
In other news, my pal Space Nakji just gave me a gift certificate for a deep tissue massage. I've never had one before, and I'm kinda scared. I'm picturing some ginormous Swedish woman with arms like tree trunks beating the crap out of my back. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to it (my back is 9 kinds of fucked up and it's REALLY been hurting over the last month or so), I'm just a little...anxious about it.
Speaking of Ms. Nakji, I had the following chat conversation the other night. It is perhaps the best synopsis of ANY movie that I have EVER heard. Granted, it's for The Sisterhood Of the Traveling Pants, but still. Roger Ebert, eat your heart out:
Space Nakji: these chicks go to a thrift store and find a pair of magic pants that make them all fabulous
Space Nakji: so they take turns wearing them and having fabulous things happen
Space Nakji: and they're not even like cool clown pants
Space Nakji: they're just jeans
Space Nakji: they're magic fucking pants
Space Nakji: jeezus
Space Nakji: even magic shoes would be better than that
Space Nakji: or magic panties
And really, I think the idea of magic panties is one that we can ALL get behind.
Happy Holidays, everyone.
I just can't do it this year. I haven't done any shopping, nor do I think I'm going to. I'll get my mom a birthday present (she was born on Christmas Eve), and get flowers for my Grandma and Emily, but that'll be the extent of it.
Of course, it didn't help that I received a letter from myself yesterday. There's this site called Futureme.org, and a year ago yesterday I wrote myself a letter. It was just a few days before she was going to come into town for our Christmas, and I was feeling really, really good, and I was very happy. And of course, I received it first thing in the morning yesterday, which did not do wonders for the rest of my day, to put it lightly. Anyway.
I just need to get through the season intact. That's kinda all I want this year.
In other news, my pal Space Nakji just gave me a gift certificate for a deep tissue massage. I've never had one before, and I'm kinda scared. I'm picturing some ginormous Swedish woman with arms like tree trunks beating the crap out of my back. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to it (my back is 9 kinds of fucked up and it's REALLY been hurting over the last month or so), I'm just a little...anxious about it.
Speaking of Ms. Nakji, I had the following chat conversation the other night. It is perhaps the best synopsis of ANY movie that I have EVER heard. Granted, it's for The Sisterhood Of the Traveling Pants, but still. Roger Ebert, eat your heart out:
Space Nakji: these chicks go to a thrift store and find a pair of magic pants that make them all fabulous
Space Nakji: so they take turns wearing them and having fabulous things happen
Space Nakji: and they're not even like cool clown pants
Space Nakji: they're just jeans
Space Nakji: they're magic fucking pants
Space Nakji: jeezus
Space Nakji: even magic shoes would be better than that
Space Nakji: or magic panties
And really, I think the idea of magic panties is one that we can ALL get behind.
Happy Holidays, everyone.
coughed this up at 9:26 AM
7 El Commentos:
magic panties.....the mind reels
deep tissues massage..
i would like to start my own chain of massage parlours and call them "She Rubs You Yeah Yeah Yeah.."
any elfquest comics where you found that alf one?
happy holidays yo
Oh, poor hobo! A depressing email from yourself! That really sucks. But it's also hilarious. I'm still laughing. It's not just schadenfreude...it's the beautiful irony. Reminds me of reading old journals (not recommended under most circumstances).
happy holidays anyway.
ps- I'm at a cafe using the wireless. While i typed this comment, one of your boyfriends tried to chat me up. I pretended to be on the phone. He didn't go away, so i told him i was "really busy." He's still lingering a few feet away. Maybe you could call him off? And while you're at it...some of your boyfriends are outside yelling "SLUTS! SLUTS!" Can you maybe get rid of them too? Thanks!
katt: i'd take magic panties over a magic christian any day (too obscure?)
fatrobot: no elfquest, sadly, although i do have a rather nice collection of Groo The Wanderer
rekabek: yes, i appreciate the irony, and i will never send myself a letter again. it's like i reached into the future and bitch slapped myself.
also, i've just lit my BoyfriendAway (TM) candle for you. it's like a citronella candle, but it's made from commitment.
Here's to you, Hobo! Getting through it is sometimes the most we can hope for at this conflicted time of year. I'll spare a smidgen of cheer for you and send it wafting your way, just in hopes it helps. Hugs too!
As long as they use their powers for good, not evil, I would trade all of my gifts for the magic panties.
Hobotron the Wise,
Know that I once wrote a letter to myself in second grade that got delivered when I was eight years older. I had, let's say, a very dedicated and wonderful second grade teacher (at this point, I throw up Mrs. Pozzie's gang sign). I thought by the time I was 16, I'd have a racecar and be a stuntman. Unfortunately, I drove a broken green car to Gymboree. I too was, as you so eloquently put it, bitch-slapped by the past. It's better than being bitch-slapped in the present though. Less bloody lips, certainly.
And Magic Christian is awesome. I always liked the boxing scene. And the boat. But I always like boats. Especially when gravy is involved.
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