Fuckin' Ponies.

On Chopsticks

In preparation for a pending trip, I have been attempting to learn how to use chopsticks. I am delighted to say that, after weeks of practice, I can now ALMOST use the things without getting rice in my hair and a chopstick up my nose.

You'd think that my hand/eye dexterity would be a little more accurate, especially considering all the time I spent playing video games as a child.

The struggle continues.

The silver lining to rice in the hair: at least I have easy access to snacks while I'm playing my games.

Yugoslavian Mariachi. Seriously.

According to we make money not art, this bizarre hiccup in Yugoslavian musical history occurred when Yugoslavia broke away from the USSR, and found themselves in need of some non-Rusky cultural stimulation. Apparently they thought Mexico was a great fit, and Yugoslavian Mariachi bands started popping up. Thin little mustaches were grown. Large hats were purchased. Extremely white men learned how to roll their R's and say "ay yai yai yai" in high pitched voices.

The picture above not good enough for you? Here's a sample of some of the lyrics:

"My Mexican hat
is the biggest in the world.
When I'm walking below it
I know I'm very handsome.
And every tries to
touch my hat,
because it brings her luck,
that's what people think!

My hat is beautiful!
SPLENDID!
My hat is beautiful!
SPLENDID!
I'm giant with it!
My hat is beautiful!
SPLENDID!
Without it my life is colorless.

I gave my last peso
for it
while I walked the fair
on Sunday with her
and I paid a couple of glasses
for my friends
because I knew this hat will break everything! "

And here's a link to the ACTUAL SONG.

I can't resist one last photo:

Radomir looks like he's just phoning it in, doesn't he?

Today = Awesome

My day started with a phone call from the Lovely Girl, who called specifically to wake me up. MUCH better than an alarm clock. The afternoon fluttered softly in on leathery wings and left a steaming pile of good news: a totally unexpected 9% raise. The evening ended with the Gorgeous Girl playing guitar and singing for me.

I am a very happy hobo.

You Could Cut the Air with a Knife

But it was so, so good to breathe.

I know it's been a while, but I've been busy. I went to New Orleans with The Girl, and had an incredible time. Indescribable. Amazing. Lots of other positive descriptors. It was about 95 degrees the entire time, and the humidity hovered somewhere around 85%. Which was fine - we just had to spend more time in the hotel room. ;)

We walked Bourbon Street at night. We had filet mignon by candlelight at an outdoor cafe in a little courtyard, where no less than three people approached us asking if they could take our picture. We got moderately drunk on hand grenades (a really sweet, powerful drink), and went thong shopping. We smoked cloves and cigarettes. We listened to some great music. We had some really excellent food. We spent a lot of time staring at each other. We saw a device in a kink shop that looked like the Time Machine from Napoleon Dynamite. I backed slowly away.

I also took over 500 photos. Here are a few of 'em:

the rats are large and ostentatious in new orleans


asian grocery, cigars and cigarettes


iron gate detail


carcasses! boiled alive!